One of those days...

...One of those days when it all gets too much, and you feel useless and tired and like what you are doing is not really going to help anyone. Or maybe it could, if only things were just organised a bit better, or if there was more money, or if the parents of some of the kids taught them how to behave better... 

The front door of the school - it is far too hot and dark to close it. Lots of kids hang around the door, even if they don't attend.

But things are how they are: the children are poor, can be violent, naughty, they can't read very well (and those who can are held back by those who can't), it is hot, dirty and loud. There are three tiny classrooms in Oasis' school; there are no doors so you can hear it (and see it) when the class next door kicks off, or a fight breaks out. Even when the classes next door are having a great time it means the volume goes up and making yourself heard is hard. It also means the kids are distracted a lot. Add in to the mix the days when the young teenagers next door to the school bring out their gigantic speakers and blast music while school is going - in retaliation for the noise of the kids - and some days it really feels like it is descending into chaos.


Some days are great, and I should stress that before I start moaning about today (which is the worst day I have had here, and probably in a long time). For example yesterday we did maths, the kids sat through the whole lesson, and the other classes behaved and it all went smoothly. Could be something to do with the fact that for some reason Mondays are a lot quieter than the rest of the week - I only had about six or seven kids and the other classes were smaller too. The other reason is that we had enough people - the ideal is two people per class (although I think more wouldn't hurt). There is one teacher, and one assistant. So yesterday I had an assistant. Today I didn't and either did Martin, the teacher for the class beside me.

In the background you can see Maria peering in from her classroom - everything is open so the kids are easily distracted.

An assistant helps for a number of reasons. All the kids are different levels and so having an extra person means I can divide the class roughly into two groups according to ability and have one person per group. No assistant means that you have about twelve children who all need your help, and all for different reasons. As I mentioned before the school is pretty open, so we have a problem with random kids running in from outside and trying to steal things, annoy the students and teachers, and generally cause problems. When there are enough people, you can usually kick these guys out easily without disrupting the class too much. But today we were a small group, a lot of students, and a gang of boys from the street decided their mission for the day was to ruin classes.


The boys are young - so they are not threatening to look at - but when they start throwing rocks through the window, you realise how much trouble they can cause. There is no glass in the school (a good thing I think) but it means the rocks can hit the kids or teachers - which is horrible. Today they were throwing rocks at me all afternoon from outside. Or when that got boring they were chucking handfuls of dirt through the window onto the students heads. They would then run into the school, dancing around, smacking kids and trying to rob things. I try so hard to not lose my temper with them, as I think that is what they are hoping for. Also, I try not to touch them more than gently steering them towards the door (which is impossible when they are climbing on tables and chairs and running at you). Today though they were so violent (one punched me in the face, another used a shutter door to try and smack me) that I found it really hard to keep a cool head. It is too hard to put into words how stressful the whole thing was. I felt like crying most of the afternoon, while Martin said to me at the end that the whole experience made him practically suicidal.


The only comfort is that it isn't like this everyday, and the kids I teach are just too lovely to get too disheartened by the circumstances we teach in. When I arrived today two little girls were waiting for me by where the taxis drop us off, with a little flower pot in their hands, as a present for me - when they are that sweet it makes me even more determined not to let a few rough boys ruin it for them.